Wednesday, August 8, 2012

4th of July 5k

A couple of weeks before the 4th,
my mom gave me a call.


MOM:  Our city is having a 5k on the 4th and I'm doing it but I'm sort of worried I might come in last and I really don't want that to happen.  Will you do it with me?


ME:  Sure.  You bet.

MOM:  Really?!?

ME:  Sure.

ME:  What's a Fivekay?

MOM:  (explains what a 5k is)

ME:  WHAT?

MOM:




Not to mention, my schedule's been like this:


I haven't been outside in months!

But mother birthed me and all, so I woke up at 4 am and dressed all cute
and did my hair all cute and drove to my old home town, West Point.

The starting line was packed.


Luckily I found my mom.




The horn sounded, and we were off in a cloud of dust!


Pretty soon everyone had run ahead.


Pretty soon my own mother had run ahead.


Pretty soon I reached the half mile mark and 
I realized I wasn't going to make it.


Fortuitously enough, the race route was just passing a road...


...that just happened to lead to my parents' house...



SNEAKY


Luckily I had a key :)

I used the bathroom...


...checked my phone messages...


...ate some watermelon in the big bowl on the counter...


It wasn't too long before I saw the runners making their
way back to the park.
I figured it was time to skedaddle.




Admittedly, I didn't exactly burn the rubber
off the soles of my shoes.


When I finally turned the corner to the finish line, 
I was met with this:


Well that didn't make me feel guilty at all. 


I ended the race at a run, leaving behind 
a great big steaming wake of CHEAT.



30 minutes later, my mom found me. 


Apparently she'd discovered me missing in the middle of the race.






What do you know.  She won 2nd place.


(She owes it all to me)

Afterwards there was a raffle where I won a Striders
t-shirt, ballcap, and decal.


So now everyone can know just how much I love to run!


THE END.


PS If you haven't seen a West Point parade, here is a taste of the joy 
(watch it 45x for the full parade experience):

video

It has the two best t's in the world: Tractors and Taffy.  Yesss baby!

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congrats for doing an event I will never do!! (Not really that athletic, haha) Illustrations were perfect! (as usual!)

LinWash said...

I am DYING laughing!!!! I will have to look back at this post a few times at work, where I always need a good laugh.

Aaron Ludwig said...

They should change the official course to include a stop at your parents' house (for a bathroom break and watermelon eating contest). Now THAT would be a fun run!

dixon.mary said...

Love it.

You looked great running, btw.

I wonder what Mom has to say about this post...

Jules said...

Hahahaaaaa...I love all these illustrations.

Elizabeth Struk said...

I was having such a rough night...
It was a real treat to find your blog post!! GREAT STUFF!!

On a side note, I ate a turkey sandwich today and thought of you! :)

Missy Dixon said...

Once again I am getting weird looks at the library for laughing out loud! This was great! I'm still shaking with laughter although quieter now.
You are a genius!

Kate said...

Heather, seriously, your blog makes me so ridiculously happy. I can't stop laughing and I want to frame the drawing of you and the watermelon.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Thank you

Amanda said...

Love it, as usual! (Don't know if you're a Back to the Future fan, but I totally thought of this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6SEXp3-lo8 )

Em said...

Love love LOVE this blog! Thanks for sharing! It made me laugh so hard!

Drew said...

And wouldn't you know it, just this morning I was thinking you hadn't posted in a while, and how your presence on Facebook is noted and missed. YAY for a new post!

LLOL! I love these stories so much. Mom vacuuming the mansion and you working through the night are genius.

As an avid runner, this post amuses me, especially since I certainly did NOT used to be a runner, avid or otherwise. But seriously Heather, if this ever happens again... don't wear your flip-flops. The right footwear makes all the difference in the world. :)

The Andimator said...

Hilarious, so funny I posted it on Facebook!

Also, my family and I attempted to watch "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" the other night, and didn't make it any further than "Toot Sweets." Guess it's not the right movie for the Petersons.

Ann Dee said...

You are hilarious, Heather.

Nasan Hardcastle said...

Haha! Your storyboards always make me laugh. I look forward to every one.

Eric and Jill said...

That's such an awesome story. I had a friend who was in the army in WWII and he told me a story similar with him hiding in a bush throughout the rest of the laps. Its great to know people have fun and congrats to your mom for second! That's awesome!

Nathan Lindsay said...

hilarious. great story and fantastic drawings Heather.

perkyhandmaiden said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
HAHAHAHAH! Bahaha! Haha! ha!

Keisha O. said...

This is hilarious!! Thanks for telling this story!

Alisa Selene said...

I loved this..I think it is my second favorite with the 'Turkey Sandwich'..so funny..and totally what I would have done!

Erik D. Martin said...

these are great storyboard panels hahah really fun story telling

Julie said...

OK Heather, you know what this means? You/re getting running shoes and a chance to do the race right NEXT year at the 5k BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

ldsjaneite said...

I run 5Ks, or rather I die throughout them and then take bragging rights for months afterwards. If this story is true, it is one of THE best 5K stories ever and I will love it and laugh at it every time I'm sweating and wheezing at ridiculous, chilly hours in the morning.

Emily said...

If I ever ran a 5K, that's probably how I would do it! Love the post :)

Katie said...

Will you be my strategist for my upcoming marathon?

Heather Dixon said...

@Katie - I'm not familiar with Idaho terrain, but I'd be happy to help you cheat in any way I can!

--Hey said...

Oh man... you kill me. So I guess asking you to join me on my next 5k is out of the question. YOU CHEAT!!!! ; ) actually I think it is a sign of an intelligent person to get away with less work... and achieve the same goal. HA!

Eric Oliver said...

Heather, it is nice to hear your take on running a 5K. It is honestly my favorite distance but I always feel like puking after finishing.

Oh by the way, do you want to join my Ragnar Relay team next year?