Family Fotos

Family photos are...weird, right?  You have .002 seconds to act relaxed, stare at the camera and smile before you all dive in and try to murder each other.  Your chances of getting a good family photo are less than winning the lottery.  My gosh, how did we live without Photoshop??

Lately I've had a fling with Pinterest and've noticed all the helpful photo tips.  I took a picture, once, so I thought...why not?  Behold!

6 FABULOUS FAMILY FOTO TIPS

And all for free!

#1:  Never underestimate cardboard cutouts.

My goodness!  Look at all those well-behave and well-dressed children!  You are amazing!!

#2:   Try for different camera angles, like staring down at it.

You can tape it above the baby's crib so he will never be lonely!

This works especially well if you all dress like Satan.

Babies love that.

#3: Greenscreen is your friend.

You'll never have to go anywhere for pictures again!

 

 See, this way when your kids start to complain that they've never been to Disneyland, you can say, "Yes we have, you just don't remember!  See??  It was right after we visited Moscow!"

#4:  State Pen.  Yours is a family that sticks together...no matter what.

Sometimes if you're lucky, after the photo they keep the child.

#5:  Photos as gifts.  Dress your children in rags.  Dress yourself in puritantical black.  Take the picture in front of a horrible old building.

 Save these photos for forty years or so, then secretly give them to your children for Christmas.  It will help their teenagers behave.

 In 2045, zoot suits will be back in style.  I'm banking on this.  Also, hoop skirts.

 Aaaaaand #6:  Feet!  The best family pictures are the pictures where you don't see your family!

I hope this was helpful!  If you've followed this link from Pinterest, please don't kill me.  Stay tuned for Family Fotos Part 2--ways to pose your newborn so it looks like rubber!

Kidding.  There is no part 2.  I JUST WISH THERE WAS