We all know that growing up, there were a billion toys our parents didn't want us to play with.
The car window was one of these.
Gosh it was hard to say no to that voice.
Whenever I unrolled the window, my mother gave me these wise words:
So Uncle Richie was a great uncle I had...or...maybe it was a great great uncle...or...cousin...or something...who...liked to roll down the windows.
One day he was playing out the window, and--
HONK HONK VROOM
Yeah.
So you can bet I spent my growing-up years in the car like this:
(My arms survived childhood.)
Wouldn't you know it, I was at a work meeting and told everybody this story, and do you know what they said??
Uncle Richie: Common Name? Or VAST PARENTAL CONSPIRACY?
You decide.
Lawlz. Well, I s'pose I was the only one without an Uncle Richie; we were allowed to roll down our windows and flail about... For a while. Then Dad would roll up the windows from the Throne of Power and lock 'em. :(
ReplyDeleteParental conspiracy! Because I'm pretty sure my parents told me a similar story!
ReplyDeleteHilarious post as usual.
Oh, the look on his face when he sees his arm is gone!
ReplyDeleteLove it. You should start up a Tumblr. You would get tens of thousands of hits on stuff like this. :)
ReplyDeleteThe boy remained nameless, but I was fed that story as a child. I also firmly believed the crust was the healthiest part of bread, though I think my sister came up with that one...
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh!I have vivid memories of Mom telling that story and even now if I drive with the windows down I am always hesitant to stick even a finger out the window!
ReplyDeleteMom used to tell that story? Really?!? I sure don't remember it. Since Mom would NEVER tell a fib, we must have gained an Uncle Richie at some point... And lost him again, since I know we don't have one now.
ReplyDeleteHa ha haaa, I love your stories. I vote for vast parental conspiracy. Did you have Mr. McGillicutty too?!?
ReplyDeleteI have a real Uncle Richie... however his arms survived childhood and i was not told that story. We were told not to hang stuff out the window, thanks to my father's story of how he was waving his Yankee hat out the window over the George Washington bridge and let go and tragically lost it forever
ReplyDeleteI have a real Uncle Richie... however his arms survived childhood and i was not told that story. We were told not to hang stuff out the window, thanks to my father's story of how he was waving his Yankee hat out the window over the George Washington bridge and let go and tragically lost it forever
ReplyDelete... i never had an Uncle Richie. Great job, though!
ReplyDeleteI never had an uncle Richie.....I was just told not to stick my arm out the window!
ReplyDeleteHA! I KNEW I wasn't the only one!!
ReplyDelete@Aine - It sounds like your parents weren't strict observers of the Struwwelpeter Parenting Method.
@Aaron - I have a tumblr, but I have such difficulty posting with it that I haven't paid it much attention. Any tips?
Struwputter-what? Is that a real thing?
ReplyDeleteFor me, it was the story of a kid on a train. And his head.
ReplyDelete. . .Maybe I just had an overly morbid family. O.o;
Don't stick your elbow out so far, it might go home in another car. Burma Shave
ReplyDeleteI bet the guy who wrote that jingle had an uncle Richie.
I had an "Uncle Richie" but it was some kid that went to school with my dad and stuck his arm out the school bus window.
ReplyDeleteMy grandma told me the button would eject my seat. I was ignorant since I only knew roll-em-up windows. I pressed the button.
ReplyDelete@ Peter: I totally remember Mom telling that story. Until Heather's blog post, I still thought it was real. Maybe it is! Mom probably never told you the story because you were so obedient that she didn't have to!
ReplyDelete@Aine - "Der Struweelpeter" is an old collection of German cautionary tales for kids. For example if you suck your thumbs, a traveling tailor will come and cut them off. A formidable force in child rearing, I know this first hand.
ReplyDelete@Kelsey - Did your parents tell you the bruises on bananas were sugar spots?? I grew up living on bruisy bananas.
@Mary - Apparently it IS a true story--Mom let me know. He was grandpa's cousin. Now I feel like a real jerk for posting this story...and am wondering if I'm related to all my coworkers.
This made me laugh a little too much at Uncle Richie's misfortune, how shameful of me ;)
ReplyDeleteYou have a great talent to do some fun storyboards, i enjoy them a ton :D
I both did and didn't have an uncle Richie!! By which I mean my mom TOTALLY used that story, and like every variant you can imagine (cats and dogs flying out and dying [actually saw that happen once and it was terrible], people's arms going flying, you name it), but she never claimed an Uncle Richie. I wouldn't have fallen for the name, I guess.
ReplyDeleteWhy isn't your mom wearing an apron in this post? She must be an impostor... spreading the story of Uncle Richie to everyone, so she can take over the world.
ReplyDelete