7 More Awesome Villains You've Never Even Heard Of!
I really like villains. i don't know why....probably because I'm surrounded by all you namby-pamby goody-two-shoes. Here we go!
1. Barnaby Barnicle
I kind of have a thang for Barnabies. In this 1986 Babes in Toyland (starring a very young Drew Barrymore), he pals around with his buddiez Mack and Zack, stealing cookies and inciting Toyland Terror. But really all he wants is love.
Anything else you need to know is here:
I wish I lived in a bowling ball.
2. Fegan Floop
Fegan Floop from "Spy Kids" takes undercover agents and turns them into fooglies--putty-like creatures of their former selves. But really all he wants to do is write children's shows. I sympathize with this guy. And also love his theme song (written by Danny Elfman).
Here's a cabbage patch kid as a fooglie.
3. The Prognoviach, from "Condorman"
Hailing from Eastern Europe, the Prognoviach are highly trained assassins-in-cars. Expect high-speed car chases through winding canyon roads, synchronized driving, and falling over cliffs in a big flaming ball of fire. Each one of these baddies is "a dedicated killer." Definitely not something you want to see in your rear-view mirror.
Unless you have a Condorman car. Then you're ok.
My nephew adores Condorman, so my sister made him the Prognoviach for his birthday. Lucky kid!
4. Clockwork Droids, from Doctor Who
The ominous ticking clues you in: these guys are hiding in your room. And they want pieces of you.
Now go break every clock in your house. You'll feel safer.
5. Lina Lamont
Actually you've probably heard of Lina. She can't sing, she can't dance, she can't act....she does however have a pretty neat voice. It's my secret wish to have a "Talk Like Lina Lamont" Day. It'll be filled with words like, "Dope" and "Darn tootin'!" and "Whatsa matter with my voice??" When I've taken over Canamerica that's the first thing I'm going to do.
6. Vogons
The micro-managing bureaucrats from "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." Don't try to get any paperwork done with them, and DON'T listen to their poetry. It's almost as bad as mine.
7. Princess Mombi
You can re-enact this scene with Barbie Doll heads. I always did. (Yes, my childhood was awesome)
I've never seen "Condorman" or the '86 "Babes in Toyland," but I agree with the rest of what you've said.
ReplyDeleteIn my house, we like to say Lina LaMont's line "I cain't stan' him!"
Also, your new blog header is very, very disturbing.
Andy, you've got to see Condorman! I think you'd really like it.
ReplyDeleteI've heard of 1,4 ,6 and yes Princess Mombi scared the pants off me as a kid!
ReplyDeleteLina's the best villain ever! Black to her core. Good choice. Though I have to say, anyone who would knock down villagers like nine-pins is pretty black. All good choices!
ReplyDeleteForgot to add that Condorman used to be a staple at my wife's house. We need to find a copy before she and my kids go through withdrawal.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I wonder how your mother survived your 'awesome childhood'. she sounds like a strong woman!
ReplyDelete@Ken - I think they have the whole movie on Youtube! Good ol' youtube :)
ReplyDelete@Julie- Dude she's the one that made it awesome!!
Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex?! You sly devil! I thought you were dead.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE that Lina Lamont made your list! I think I need to go watch a few movies :)
ReplyDelete:D :D :D
ReplyDelete@Anon - Yes, well, fortuitously I became undead when the world was restored! And luckily my decaying swan poetry survived too! Would you like to hear it?
Everything about Return to Oz scared me, but the Wheelers and Mombi especially. Great idea to watch it again--it's been years for me since I have.
ReplyDeleteThe '86 Babes in Toyland was the only version I saw for many years, so it holds a special place in my heart.
Love Fegan's song--it did make my day. Alan Cumming is brilliant.
Thank you so so much for sharing that you re-enacting the head switching witch from Return to Oz with barbies. My godsister and I did when we were little too and my heavens, our families have made fun of us over it ever since!
ReplyDeleteI love that you included Floop! :D And there are even more I haven't heard of. You = so cool. :)
ReplyDeleteLina Lamont is the best villain, not cause you have sympathy for her, and can understand her motivation. and her choices given the situation.
ReplyDeleteI only watched return to Oz once as a kid, but I still remember it as one of the freakiest movies I've ever seen!
ReplyDeleteI love that you have Vogons. Love that movie (and the book even more)!!
Ha ha, Lina. I often tell my sisters that I am a shimmering, glowing star in the cinema firmament. Her lines were the best!
Okay...the fact that your nephew even knows who Condorman is makes me wonder about your family. I think you need an intervention:) To your list, I would like to add the Child Catcher from Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang. Disturbing to say the least.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. @Brandon - It was his 4th birthday, too--obviously he's going to grow up with good taste ^_^
ReplyDelete@Anonymeet - I probably shouldn't say this online, but in high school I made a silent movie where Ken takes Barbie into the barbie house, stabs her with a Clue knife, then pops her head off and adds it to the rest of his collection (Barbie heads sitting in a row on top of the barbie dresser.) My mom somehow discovered it & was horrified. I think that's when they hid the Barbies from me.
Um---mad props for celebrating the awesomeness that is the Prognoviach from Condorman. Superb drivers and each one a dedicated killer.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite villain is Madam Mim from Sword in the Stone.
My cousin sent me a link to your blog and I'm so glad today is the day I checked it out.
A quick note -- did you know that in "Singing in the Rain" it's actually Lina (whatever the actress's name is) singing her own part? They thought Debbie Reynolds was too midwestern, so they let her sing because she was from NY.
ReplyDelete