Kids vs. Kids

Last week, my aunt related a story to me:

Her 6 month old was sleeping in the swing and her 2-year old was watching Dinosaur Train with a bowl of pretzels and she figured that now was a pretty good time to sneak away and take a 90-second shower.

45 seconds in, and she heard a giant crash.

She ran out to discover this:

(Baby was ok)

Anyway, it got me thinking about kids and babies and stuff.

If you were lucky, after the stork delivered you, you opened your eyes to a scene like this:

 If you were luckier, however--and I was!--your very first vista was this:

 You were a younger sibling!

 This makes growing up an adventure, because kids that age only sort their life interactions into two categories:

 Toys and Not Toys.

And babies make the BEST toys!  They make noises and move and stuff.  They're better than matches!

Like a baby chic punching a hole through its shell, this kind of stuff makes babies stronger.   If a younger-sibling baby lives past the first 3 months of it's life, that's a pretty good sign it'll live to puberty.

I myself have made a noble contribution to this theory.  When I was 3 or 4, I remember my mom's friend had come to visit with her newborn.  I think the novelty of my two younger siblings had worn off, so I was super excited to hold the thing.  I washed my hands and sat in a big chair and was pretty much ready for some great baby bonding time.

 After 3 minutes or so, the novelty wore off.

 I wanted to stop holding her, but interrupting the grown-ups did not seem like a good idea.

 So I came up with this really awesome idea!*

I'd been to the park earlier that week and remembered the slide and thought it would be a lot of fun if I could make myself a human slide!  I would put my legs at an incline and point my toes and it would be so much FUN!


*it didn't occur to me to just set the baby down.  Common sense was never my forte.

Here's how it happened in my head:

 Wee!

Um.  Here's how it happened in real life:

 The grown-ups weren't real happy about that.

 But it DID prove me right!  This stuff makes babies stronger.  And the baby?  She grew up just fine.

I think.  I mean, she did ask me to be her friend on facebook, so...she's mentally sound I think.  Or is she??

Anyway, the moral of this story is:  Kids, let the world be your playground.  It makes you stronger.

...Which is exactly what I told my aunt.

 (I don't think she appreciated it)